


x files theme playing in the other room

by putorius



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bigfoot - Freeform, Enjoltaire Week 2017, ExR Week 2017, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 14:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11277048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putorius/pseuds/putorius
Summary: “What are we even doing out here?” asked Grantaire.Enjolras was already breaking into the foliage. Leaves and fallen branches cracked under him. He held a branch of something aside so Grantaire could join him.“Looking for Bigfoot,” said Enjolras plainly.--otherwise known as the one where not much happens but enjolras believes in bigfoot





	x files theme playing in the other room

**Author's Note:**

> does this count as alternate universe? im counting it as alternate universe. i didnt even reread this before i posted it lmao

“Are we there yet?” asked Grantaire. He was leaning his head against the passenger's window, trying to ignore the vibrations.

“Not yet,” said Enjolras. “Give me, like, two minutes.”

“Two minutes?” said Grantaire. He lifted his head to look out the window. “There’s nothing out here but trees.”

Enjolras looked very focused on the road before him. He was a nervous driver at the best of times, and now he was driving up a path through the woods in the dark. His headlights were reliable, but he was on edge. He didn’t want to hit anything that might bolt out into the road.

“I mean, I didn’t actually say we were going past the trees,” said Enjolras.

“Are you serious?” asked Grantaire. “You really called me at one in the morning to go to the woods with you?”

“I knew you would already be awake,” said Enjolras. “And it’s not my fault you didn’t ask.”

“I can’t just be in the woods at night, Enjolras. That’s how we die. That’s how we end up on an episode of  _ Law and Order: SVU _ . Or, probably just me, because you’re clearly about to murder me,” said Grantaire.

Enjolras stopped the car. He looked at Grantaire. His eyes were such a light blue that they looked hollow in the moonlight, or what little of it was streaming in through the trees.

“Do you want to go home?” asked Enjolras. “Because I’ll take you home.”

Grantaire paused. “Are we here?” he asked.

Enjolras nodded. Grantaire shrugged and got out of the car.

Once they were both out of the car, Enjolras tossed Grantaire a flashlight. Grantaire went around the car to meet Enjolras.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to make me hike in the middle of the night,” said Grantaire.

“I’m not making you do anything,” said Enjolras. “But, yes. We’re going to be hiking, and I suppose it is the middle of the night.”

Grantaire rubbed a rough hand over his face. He flicked the flashlight on.

“Excellent,” said Enjolras. “Now, there isn’t a path, but that’s fine.”

“Jesus Christ,” said Grantaire. He was considering going back to the car - he couldn’t remember Enjolras even locking it - but Enjolras was looking especially determined and Grantaire wasn’t going to be the idiot who split up in the woods.

“What are we even doing out here?” asked Grantaire.

Enjolras was already breaking into the foliage. Leaves and fallen branches cracked under him. He held a branch of  _ something _ aside so Grantaire could join him.

“Looking for Bigfoot,” said Enjolras plainly.

Grantaire stopped, halfway off the path. He blinked at Enjolras.

“Excuse me?” he said.

“The truth is out there, Grantaire,” said Enjolras.

“You’re serious,” said Grantaire. “You actually called me at one in the morning to look for Bigfoot in the woods with you.”

“That’s what happened, yes,” said Enjolras. “Are you going to climb in here, or are you going to wait in the car?”

Grantaire went into the woods. He faced Enjolras directly.

“Hey man,” said Grantaire. “This is fucking weird.”

Enjolras looked sour. His face was gaunt from their flashlights.

“Are you going to spend this entire time mocking me?” asked Enjolras.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking delighted by this turn of events,” said Grantaire. “I just need you to know that this is weird.”

“Trust me, it could be weirder,” said Enjolras.

Before Grantaire could ask what the hell  _ that _ meant, Enjolras had started to delve deeper into the woods.

\---

“Did you hear that?” said Enjolras.

They were now deep enough into the woods that they could no longer see the path. Grantaire had a terrible sense of direction and hoped, desperately, that Enjolras either knew where he was going or that he had a compass.

“Frankly, I’ve been hearing things constantly,” said Grantaire. “There’s a lot of living things in the woods.”

“But did you hear something  _ abnormal _ ?” asked Enjolras. “Something Bigfoot-esque?”

“I don’t - Enjolras, I don’t know what Bigfoot is supposed to sound like,” said Grantaire.

Enjolras put his hands on his hips. His flashlight shot out in a random direction.

“I apologize. I should have offered you some research before bringing you out here,” said Enjolras.

Grantaire shook his head. “It’s all good,” he said. “Why don’t you just explain it to me now?”

Enjolras looked at him like he was crazy.

“I’m not going to mimic a Bigfoot call, Grantaire,” he said. “I’m not an idiot.”

\---

They were taking a break on a log. Enjolras pulled two peanut butter sandwiches from the inner pocket of his jacket.

“Want one?” asked Enjolras. “I’m only asking to be polite. I packed it specifically for you, so you should eat it.”

Grantaire snorted and took the sandwich. He unwrapped it, careful not to drop it into a leaf litter below them.

“Thanks,” said Grantaire. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Mhm,” hummed Enjolras. His mouth was full of peanut butter.

“Do you really think we’re going to find Bigfoot out here?” asked Grantaire.

Enjolras shook his head. There was a moment where Grantaire was slightly disappointed - he’d really thought Enjolras believed in this for a second there, and if he didn’t, what were they spending all this time out here for? It was nearing three in the morning.

“No?” asked Grantaire.

“No,” said Enjolras, swallowing. “Bigfoot is more likely to be found in the Pacific Northwest. There have been sightings out here, but we’d have much better luck over there.”

Grantaire laughed. Trust Enjolras to give a thoughtful, informed answer about Bigfoot.

“So what are we doing, then?” asked Grantaire. “I mean, if you really don’t think we’re going to find him.”

“I think it’s good to try things even if there’s a low chance of them working out,” said Enjolras. “I mean, there  _ could  _ be a Bigfoot out here. It’s just not likely. I wasn’t going to call you at one in the morning to go on an impromptu road trip across the country.”

“But you would have gone?” asked Grantaire.

“Not alone, I wouldn’t have. That’s how you end up dead,” said Enjolras, matter-of-fact.

Grantaire was glad for the dark, then - he was smiling wide at Enjolras, overcome with stupid affection.

“But you’d go on that road trip,” said Grantaire. “You’d drive thousands of miles just to find Bigfoot.”

“Sure,” said Enjolras. “And for the story. Memories. I like going into the great unknown.”

“I know,” said Grantaire. “I know.”

\---

Sunlight was starting to stream through the trees. The woods were filling with cool, damp morning air. If Combeferre had been with them, Grantaire thought this might be when he would start pointing out different types of mushrooms.

“I don’t suppose Bigfoot is a morning person,” said Grantaire.

“I like the implication that Bigfoot is a person,” said Enjolras. “Not a human, but a person. Personhood is actually really interesting, if not infuriating, when you try to examine it. Like, what things are worthy of the specific kind of respect we give to sapient beings -”

“Enjolras,” said Grantaire. “I was making a joke.”

“Oh,” said Enjolras. “Of course. Apologies.”

Grantaire regretted this immediately. He hated how Enjolras’s face had fallen. He hadn’t mean for Enjolras to stop talking - he loved hearing Enjolras go on about the things he finds interesting - he’d just wanted Enjolras to understand the context of the situation.

“I didn’t -” said Grantaire. He stopped and recalibrated himself. “I didn’t mean for you to stop. I like hearing you talk. I just wanted you to know, in case you didn’t.”

“Oh,” said Enjolras. “Sorry. I’m only used to Combeferre and Courfeyrac doing that.”

“The other’s tell you, yeah?”

“Yeah, but they really just mean ‘shut up’, don’t they?” said Enjolras. He stopped and turned to look at Grantaire. “Don’t answer that. They do. I know they do. And I appreciate it - I’d rather them stop me than have me misunderstand the situation, because then I can’t learn for the future for when I’m not with people who understand, but I mean. They do want me to stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop,” said Grantaire. “You can rant to your heart’s content. I won’t even interrupt.”

Enjolras looked square at him for a second. “I like it when you interrupt me. It - sometimes, if the wrong person interrupts me when I’m ranting, it knocks me off kilter and I can’t find my train of thought again,” said Enjolras.

“And I don’t do that?” asked Grantaire.

“No,” said Enjolras. “You fall in with the flow.”

Then Enjolras faced forward again. He took a deep breath and began to climb up the incline towards the car.

\---

“Are you tired?” asked Enjolras.

“Hm?” said Grantaire. He’d been daydreaming.

“I said, are you tired?” said Enjolras. “I don’t sleep well and I’m still not tired yet. Are you tired?”

“Not really,” said Grantaire. His watch told him it was about five thirty. “I’m normally awake for another hour or two before I go to sleep.”

“Great,” said Enjolras. “Do you - I mean, will you come get a coffee with me?”

There was a twig in Enjolras’s hair. Grantaire didn’t want to pick it out while Enjolras was driving, just in case it startled him. Grantaire stared at it.

“Sure, if you aren’t tired of me yet,” said Grantaire.

“Of course not,” said Enjolras. “I did call you to come to the woods with me. I did just invite you of my own accord.”

“Then sure,” said Grantaire. “I’d love to get some coffee with you.”

Enjolras focused himself pointedly on the road, but Grantaire could see a smile at the corner of his mouth.

\---

Enjolras stopped just before they could walk into his favorite indie coffee shop.

“Are we going to go in?” asked Grantaire.

“Yes,” said Enjolras. “It’s just - I want you to know, before we go in, that I’d like this to be a date.”

“What,” said Grantaire.

“I’d like this to be a date,” said Enjolras. “It doesn’t have to be. I won’t be offended. I’m just letting you know.”

“Holy shit,” said Grantaire.

“Is that a positive or negative response?” asked Enjolras. “I’m having trouble figuring it out.”

“Um,” said Grantaire. “I didn’t - I wasn’t under the impression that you even liked me.”

“I did invite you to come hang out with me in the woods for a few hours,” said Enjolras. “I wouldn’t have done that if I’d hated you.”

Grantaire considered this.

“I suppose that’s true,” said Grantaire.

“I’m not saying it has to be a date,” said Enjolras. “I’m just telling you that I’d like for it to be.”

“How about this,” said Grantaire. “Let’s get coffee, and if it goes well, we can call it our second date.”

“Second?” asked Enjolras.

“The first is hunting Bigfoot,” said Grantaire.

He held the door open for Enjolras. He walked through. As he did, he began to rant.

“I’d never  _ hunt _ Bigfoot,” said Enjolras. “I  _ respect _ Bigfoot. I want to do her no harm. I want to venture into the unknown. I want to observe from a safe distance. Leave only footprints, take only memories, and all that.”

“Mhm,” said Grantaire. “Sure.”

“Settle in,” said Enjolras. “I have about an hour and a half’s worth of Bigfoot theory I can talk about before I need to grab my notes and graphs.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it! please leave me a comment if you did. i love every comment i get. also feel free to message me or send me an ask on tumblr @putoriius ! im lonely and i like hanging out w/ you guys


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